


Dead Flowers

by filthycasualsmark (exalteranima)



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Plants, set just after NXT Lowell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 17:04:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9081625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exalteranima/pseuds/filthycasualsmark
Summary: (Well, this particular flower wasn't dead yet.)
In which Finn takes Sami out on a date to see a rare Giant Stinky Penis Flower. No, seriously.





	

It's been five days since Finn lost the NXT Championship.

Even on his dodgy internet connection, Sami could tell from their Skype calls tell that his boyfriend was getting antsy. There's been no word from Regal about Finn's rematch with Samoa Joe, nor was there anything from Hunter about an impending main roster call-up. To distract himself Finn was avoiding people and hitting the weights harder than usual, which was worrying given everyone's still-fresh memories of the Great Shoulder Injury Epidemic of 2015. As much as Sami wanted to be there for Finn, he still had his match against Kevin Owens at Payback to worry about. And given that he'd just been attacked by Kevin _and_ the League of Nations at Raw the night before, Sami was still in somewhat of a sour mood.

Sami shared a rental car with Dean—who volunteered to drive provided he had full control of the car stereo—as they made the two-hour trip to the Smackdown tapings in Manchester, New Hampshire. Sami was reclining in the front passenger seat trying to block the sun from his eyes when he heard a muffled ringtone. Sami reached for his gym bag in the backseat and pulled out his phone, reading Finn's name on the screen before tapping Answer.

"Hi Sami!" Finn was sounding more like his chipper self, which was a good sign. 

"Hey, Finn." Dean turned down the car radio's volume, which Sami quietly thanked him for. "Heard from Regal yet?" 

"Nah, nothin' so far. But that's not why I called. See, there's this titan arum over at Rollins College--"

"Wait, wait, a tight  _what?_ "

"Titan arum. It's really cool, they're these rare giant flowers that only bloom, like, once in ten years. This one's at the Rollins College greenhouse."

Rollins College was just a short drive from Full Sail University. Sami didn't know they had a greenhouse there. "Oh, that's cool, I guess."

"It is, they got a webcam set up for it an' everything! Said it might start blooming sometime next week. You wanna come see it with me?"

"Jeez, um..." Sami frowned as he scratched the side of his beard. "I dunno, Finn. We've got house shows and Payback coming up. I have to ask if they'll let me off first." 

"Oh..." Finn's voice turned small and crestfallen, and God if that didn't make Sami's heart shatter into itty-bitty pieces. "Well, let me know if you can make it, alright? Bayley already said she couldn't go."

"I will, promise."

"Thanks, Sami! Love you."

"Love you too." Sami ended the call and stuffed his phone back into his bag.

"What was that about?" Dean asked.

"Oh, Finn asked if I wanted to see this rare flower with him down in Florida next week."

"Dude, your boyfriend's such a nerd. You should go."

"Dean!"

"Come on, man, you can afford to take a day off. You barely see him anymore as is. And he _just_ lost the NXT title, he could use some cheering up."

Sami ignored Dean's suggestive eyebrow waggling as he thought it over. "I guess you have a point..."

"'Course I do. I'm a freakin' genius." Dean loudly slurped his Coke through a straw. "What's so special about this thing, anyway?"

"Finn said it only blooms once a decade. And something about it being giant?"

"Ooh, you think it's like that talking plant in that movie you like?"

" _Little Shop of Horrors_?"

"Yeah, that's it." Dean turned the car radio back on, catching the tail end of a Neil Diamond song. "Or maybe it's a triffid. Or one of those pod people things."

Dean rattled off every plant-based cryptid he knew from memory while Sami looked out his car window deep in thought, the state of Massachusetts speeding past them at 60 miles an hour. 

 

* * *

 

 

Truth be told, Sami had no idea _how_ he was supposed to ask for time off. He couldn't give management an exact date since plants didn't follow a strict schedule. (Or at least he _thinks_ they don't. Isn't that a botanist's job, predicting what day plants are supposed to grow?) He could just say he needed some time off for personal matters, though he's unsure exactly how many people backstage knew about him and Finn.

As if that wasn't enough, Bayley had been texting him updates of Finn's progress since the day after NXT Lowell. He's toned down the workouts and was socializing with the Performance Center guys again (apparently Shane Thorne tried to explain the plot of _Gundam 00_ to everybody over lunch), but was now glued to his phone more often watching... something.

Bayley reassured Sami that Finn was doing fine. Still, Sami couldn't shake his concern that his boyfriend was coping with the loss of his title by following a live webcam feed of a plant.

 

* * *

 

 

Finn texted Sami about 40 minutes before Smackdown started, saying that the titan arum was likely to bloom anytime between the first and the fifth of May. Apparently titan arums only lasted for about 2 to 3 days in full bloom, so Sami figured the safest time to go was sometime in the middle of the week after Raw and Smackdown were done. 

Not that he had much choice, as the higher-ups said they could only let him off on Thursday night and that he had to be back in time for Saturday's house show in South Dakota. In the end Sami told them that he was visiting a friend of a friend in Florida and they didn't know how much longer he had to live. He wasn't sure what bothered him more: that he just told a white lie to his bosses, that he was a grown man ditching work on Friday to play hooky with his boyfriend, or that he was anthropomorphizing a plant.

(When Sami retold the entire episode to Dean, the other man couldn't stop wheezing from laughter and loudly proclaimed that was the third-funniest story he'd ever heard.)

"Oh, that's perfect!" Finn exclaimed when Sami called him later that night. "I can pick you up at the airport, then we can head straight to the greenhouse after and check out the titan arum before it dies--" 

"Finn, my flight arrives pretty late. Are you sure you don't wanna go to the greenhouse Friday instead?"

"Two to three days in full bloom, remember? Friday might be pushing it. Besides, titan arums are nocturnal and really the best time to see them would be around midnight--"

"Wait, what do you mean they're nocturnal? What's supposed to happen at midnight?!"

"It's when their smell is at its strongest. I hear it's supposed to be spectacular."

"Their... smell?"

"Just trust me, Sami. The greenhouse is extending its hours and there's a special midnight viewing just for the plant. It'll be fun!" A commotion at the other end of line that sounded suspiciously like a hungover Tye Dillinger tells Sami that Finn's still at the Performance Center. "Oop, gotta go, see you next week, good luck at Payback babe!"

Sami was struck speechless long after the line went dead. Suddenly he wondered if Dean's jokes about the plant being some kind of mutant alien pod person weren't so off the mark after all.

  

* * *

 

 

The next week went by in a blur for Sami, having devoted his every waking moment to wrestling until he got to see Finn again on Thursday night. By the time he woke up from his haze, his residual anger from having lost at Payback was already overwritten by his elation at finally competing for the Intercontinental Championship. Sure, he'd have to go through Kevin, The Miz and Cesaro first, but Sami was feeling optimistic of his chances at winning his first main roster title. 

Finn, meanwhile, looked like he was making strides in getting his head back together. He'd been hanging out more with Shinsuke (who already declined an offer to go to the greenhouse with them), and had finally gotten confirmation that he was getting his rematch with Samoa Joe at the next NXT Takeover. Less encouraging, however, were Finn's plans to ambush Joe at a future house show, and Sami hopes that Bayley can keep him in line at least until June. What little free time Finn had between shows and the Performance Center was spent either following the Rollins College webcam feed or texting Sami random trivia snippets about the plant, which he rarely got the chance to read the last few days. Sami resisted the urge to look up any photos or videos of titan arums, not wanting any spoilers for this rather unorthodox date night.

At last, Thursday rolled around. Still sore from his match with Stardust at that day's live event, Sami showered and packed in a hurry to catch his flight to Orlando. Dean talked him out of getting a taxi and offered to drive him to the airport, disappointed he won't get to see the freaky mogwai flower for himself. (He was headlining the second leg of house shows and thus couldn't make it.) Sami promised to tell Dean all about it once he got back.

The flight only gave Sami enough time for a quick nap, but all he cared about was being in decent enough condition for the greenhouse and Finn. Once Sami stepped out of the terminal with bags in tow, Finn was already waiting for him in the loading area with a smile on his face and a cup of coffee (the _good_  kind, freshly brewed Americano from their favorite shop in Winter Park) in hand. 

"Thanks babe," Sami accepted the coffee and kissed Finn on the lips. "God, I missed you."

"Missed you too. Ready to go?" Sami nodded as he straightened his hat and sipped contentedly on his coffee.

Finn ushered Sami into the car as he stowed the bags safely in the trunk and climbed into the driver's seat. He already had the Waze app open on his phone, dictating their route as he pulled out of the airport. This late into the night, traffic was light enough that they'd make it just in time for the midnight viewing.

"It's incredible, Sami, the flower's fully opened by now and it should be at its peak form once we get there. I just hope it's not too crowded."

"You mean there are people actually flocking to see this thing?" Sami asked in surprise.

"Yeah, there were crazy long lines the last time they had a specimen ready to bloom. It's crazy, there's a whole bunch of them around the world right now all blooming at the same time."

"So what, is that an omen of the apocalypse or something?" Sami joked.

"Or it could just be consistent trends in seed distribution due to all the plants maybe being related." Finn shrugged. "I read even the professional botanists are stumped."

They got their IDs checked at the school entrance and pulled into the half-full parking lot, which was just a short walk from the greenhouse. Small groups of people were already scattered about, chattering excitedly about the titan arum to Sami's mild bafflement. Finn however was glowing with excitement, and the huge grin on his face is what Sami imagines it'd look like if Finn ever won the WWE Championship. Car safely locked, they walked hand in hand as they followed the crowds into the greenhouse.

They weren't even five feet past the entrance when Sami smelled possibly the worst aroma he had ever encountered in his life. He couldn't put his finger on what it was, only that it was so bad it was making his eyes water. If he had to guess, it was like an unholy cocktail of garbage, vomit, old fruit and feces, with a dash of week-old dirty laundry and that stinky tofu stuff Kenny Omega made him try in Japan. 

"Oh my God, what is that? It's _horrible!_ "

"Well, that's why they call it the corpse flower, Sami."

"You mean that's the smell of a _dead body?!_ " Sami yelled in a shrill voice.

"Amazing, isn't it?" Finn craned his neck over the other visitors' heads, seemingly unfazed by the smell. "Titan arums adapted the scent of rotting flesh since they rely on carrion flies and dung beetles for pollination. The rafflesia flower works that way too."

"Awesome," Sami choked out, fanning the smell away with his hat to no avail. 

Finn and Sami followed the small "Corpse Plant" signs as they wove their way through cramped walkways lined with herbs, shrubs, flowers, small trees and the occasional succulent.  They came across a young twentysomething couple they recognized as Full Sail regulars, whom they took spur-of-the-moment Finn Freezes with. The stench grew stronger and stronger as they walked deeper into the greenhouse, until finally they spotted a small crowd of families and students congregated around what they presumed was their quarry.

"Come on, Sami!" Without a moment's hesitation Finn snuck his way into the loose throng, never letting go of Sami's hand all the while. Sami pinched his nose and breathed through his mouth to keep the smell at bay, squeaking out apologies each time he collided with someone. Before long Sami was being pulled into the front, Finn wrapping an arm around his waist as a man wearing a forest green Rollins College polo shirt stood lecturing next to the one thing they came to see.

"-specimen of _Amorphophallus titanum_ has been in the Rollins College Greenhouse's care since 2004. It's endemic to the island of Sumatra--"

The rare and majestic titan arum reminded Sami of what he could only describe as a giant phallic red lettuce. The large yellowish-green tuber in the middle (the greenhouse guide called it the "spadix") was almost as tall as Finn, while the ruffled outer petal with the waxy dark red interior (the "spathe") flared out and came up as high as Sami's waist. He wasn't sure exactly _which_  part of the plant was emitting that horrid stench, only that it got more potent whenever Sami tried to get a closer look at its core.

The longer Sami stared at it, the less the smell bothered him, the more he came to appreciate the sheer absurdity of its existence. It was strangely graceful in its own overlarge, unwieldy way, not unlike watching an elephant trudge along on the savanna. (Not that Sami's ever been to Africa.) As the people around them were conversing and snapping pictures on their phones, Sami kept sneaking glances at Finn as he listened intently to the guide and gaped in awe at the plant. 

They stood there for maybe half an hour, the guide describing every feature of the flower and its life cycle in loving detail. Sami might have been imagining it, but he could've sworn one end of the spathe was drooping dangerously low to the ground. It only then sunk in that the plant was already on the brink of falling apart, dying before their very eyes. Clearly he wasn't alone in noticing it, as the entire crowd -- even the guide -- seemed to fall into a reverent hush as the titan arum swayed to an imaginary breeze. Finn gripped his hand even tighter.

 

* * *

 

 

"Thanks again for coming out here with me, Sami." Finn said as they retired to a quiet corner next to a bright orange bromeliad.

"Wouldn't have missed it for anything." And Sami realized that even after the stressful week he'd just had, he meant every word.

Finn's smile grew softer and fonder as he took Sami's hand and planted a kiss in his palm. "So what did you think?"

Sami let out a weak laugh. "I gotta admit, Finn, that was actually kind of cool."

"Wasn't it? Could you imagine being closed shut like that for twelve years, all tiny just waiting to bloom, then having an audience present for your grand unveiling right before you die?"

When Finn put it like that, it was kind of sad and beautiful. "I mean, I could do without the dying-in-front-of-an-audience part. Or the smell. Mostly the smell."

"And the massive five-foot-tall penis-like protuberance?"

"Eh. Got some rare demon dick of my own at home." Sami waggled his eyebrows.

Now it was Finn's turn to laugh, planting a quick kiss on Sami's cheek as they walked back to the exit. "I promise, Sami, next time I'll warn you of any unpleasant odors or giant plant penises on our dates."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: the titan arum's scientific name is Latin for "giant misshapen penis."
> 
> I took some liberties with how WWE house show schedules usually work. I'm REALLY sorry Dean never got to see the giant stinky penis flower in the flesh. [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zg28auR8nbI) is a time lapse of a titan arum in bloom, and [here](http://www.wesh.com/article/rollins-college-corpse-plant-blooms-overnight/4449310) is a picture of the Rollins College specimen.


End file.
